Ya, 24

Phnom Penh, Cambodia | May 4th, 2023

Date of Interview: July 28th, 2020

My name is Ya. I am 29 years old. I am from the Rovea Tol, Koh Thom, Kandal. I just moved [to Phnom Penh] not long ago. I have been here for 1 year. I came to Phnom Penh for work. [My parents] are farmers. My mom farms rice. I only have a mother and my father is not with us anymore. I’m a maid. I was a farmer [before that].

Have you and your family relocated outside of your hometown before and after Pol Pot?

Never. We never moved.

Do you have kids?

No, I don’t have any. I’m divorced. I do [have] 6 [siblings], 2 sisters and 4 brothers.

Do you have questions for us?

I don’t really know how to talk to people <chuckles>.

What is your ethnic background?

I’m fully Khmer or Khmer Angkor. [My parents] are both from Cambodia. [My grandparents] are also Khmer, from Cambodia.

How do you feel about your skin color and your features?

I think my skin is dark <laughs awkwardly>. I think my nose and eyes are big, [and my lips,] also big. I think [my features] are alright. I was born like this so I just have to deal with it. They’re not really pretty. Big nose, big lips.

So you think they’re not pretty because they’re big?

Exactly.

What about your hair?

My hair is curly. Yeah, it’s too curly and I don’t like it. [I want] straight and smooth.

Can you describe your skin color? 

Just dark <chuckles>. [Other people] call me dark. [My family] also calls me dark or like tanned. I don’t like it at all. I’m always made fun of. I was the darkest kid and I was constantly made fun of. I didn’t like it at all. I was too dark, the darkest in my class. Other kids always made fun of my skin color. I got told not-so-nice things. It made me angry.

Did you get bullied often? 

Yes, every single day. They were blunt with it. Wherever I went, I would get called “dark, fat, ugly, or freak.” I never fit in. [I don’t think I’m pretty,] no. I’m just too dark.

…[e]very single day. They were blunt with it. Wherever I went, I would get called “dark, fat, ugly, or freak.” I never fit in. [I don’t think I’m pretty,] no. I’m just too dark.

Have you ever tried bleaching your skin with whitening lotion or other methods?

No, I haven’t.

Would you use it if you had access to it?

Yes, I would, [but] I can’t afford it. [I don’t think I’m smart.] Not really. Because I had very limited education. I want to run my own business but I don’t have the money to do it. Yes, I do [think you can manage a business]. [I think I’m good at] selling things. Anything that makes you money <chuckles>. I like that I’m hard-working and persistent and I strive to make a life for myself. I like to do household chores.

Who has the darkest skin tone in your family?

I’d say me. I’m way darker than them. My mother and I have the same skin tone. [My father] was also pretty dark. Pretty much. Some of [my siblings] are dark, others are medium dark.

How would you compare your skin tone to the rest of Cambodians?

I’d say I’m the darkest. <chuckles>

Have you ever seen any Cambodians darker than you? 

Not really; only foreigners. 

In karaoke videos, movies, films, and commercials, do you see any representation of people with dark skin?

Not really. I don’t really consume a lot of media.

If you were to be cast for a movie, which role would you be given?

Probably a maid? <chuckles>

Why do you think actors and rich people usually have light complexion? 

Maybe because they bleach their skin? Yes, I do [not think they were born with lighter skin.] 

Do you think fair-skinned people are prettier than dark-skinned individuals?

Yes, I do. Because light skin is pretty while dark skin is not pretty. Yes, I do think they’re pretty and rich. We (people with dark complexion) are not as pretty as them (people with light complexion). I always get made fun of and I never fit it wherever I go.

If you were lighter, do you think you would be smarter and richer than now?

I believe so. If I had money, I would make my skin white and I’d make a lot of money. If my skin my white, I’d make more money. I’d get paid more. [I’d get hired more often with] all kinds of jobs. [People my skin color] work at people’s houses as maids. They stay with their employers, do their dishes, clean the house, stuff like that. 

What about those darker than you?

I haven’t seen a lot of them.

What about those lighter than you?

They work at restaurants. People who are literate get good jobs.

If you could have the job that you wanted, like a dream job, what kind of job would it be?

Working at a factory [but] they (hirers) don’t fancy me. They only want pretty people. I’m fat…Too fat, too dark…

How would your life change if you were lighter? How different would your family treat you?

If I was pretty, I would change. My life would be better. [My family] thinks I’m dark, ugly and fat. The lighter, the prettier. [My siblings] would think I’m pretty. Yes, [our relationship] would be better. If I was light and pretty, socializing would be easier. [My relationship with men] would improve. They’d give me compliments. They’d love me. They’d take care of me and give me compliments. [My ex-husband] wasn’t keen on me because of my dark skin.

Do you prefer your husband to have lighter or darker skin than yours?

Somewhere in the middle. Not too dark, not too light.

What about your children? Do you want them to be lighter and darker than you?

Light and pretty. It wouldn’t be an issue [if they turned out dark]. There’s not much I can do about it <laughs shyly>.

Do you think Chinese Cambodians or people who have fair skin have more money than you? 

They have the money to make themselves look good.

If your parents were lighter, how would your life change? Would you have had better education, gone to a good school, had more property and money? Would you have continued your studies further? 

I’d be richer and have had more education. I’d have a big, spacious house like other people. I’d live in the city.

If you were able to change anything about your appearance like your face, hair, or skin color, what would you change?

I want to change my face. Yes, [people would regard me more.] Changing my facial features, so that I’m beautiful. I want a beautiful shape, a beautiful face, beautiful and white. Yes, I want small eyes, small nose, and small lips too <laughs>.

Now we’ve finished the interview and just want to ask you, is there anything that you would like to add, or declare and speak any message to the audience, so that they can know and learn anything from what we’ve spoken about today? Do you want to add anything?

I want to end by telling people to not discriminate against black people, don’t look down on black people, or fat people.